Blood, Sweat and Cement

For as long as i can remember, there is only one thing I've ever really wanted to do as a "grown-up". Some may call it "low ambition" but I wouldn't call it that at all. I see it for what it is and not what it looks like on paper when compared to the money making careers around today. I'm talking about the the city workers who perform street maintenance and also the Caltrans workers who repair and lay cement on the freeways.

Their work is really taken for granted. When we race down Interstate 5, do we ever think to ourselves "wow, at 90mph and for 6-7 hours, we've got a perfectly layed concrete road all the way there. No matter where we want to go, the road is paved, lined and waiting for us. There is a reason for my deep appreciation for the road.

I've always wanted to be a street worker.... not a street walker... i wanted to work on the street maintenance crew. To fill pot holes, to wear the orange shirt or orange vest, to push that big push broom, drink water out of the Igloo water jug. I've always wanted to be one the guys standing there in a cloud of dust as someone tears through the ground with a jack hammer, wave the cars along slowly with a little "slowly" sign, to paint the lines, lay down the little reflectors. It's an honorable job and one that doesn't get the appreciation it deserves.

Today, the "cool" jobs are in the medical field or finance. The "powerful" people, and money makers are sitting inside tapping away on computer keyboards and making phone calls. They have appointments, they bullshit people and make deals. These jobs do make money but they aren't what I call "work". They're careers for sure, they make a living and may very well be what that person has always wanted to do. To me though, unless it's a physical, strenuous, dirty job... it isn't work.

To me, what an honorable day's work consists of, is changing into a uniform, clocking in, getting an assignment, riding out to a work site and sweating through the day, going home achy and tired and being able to pass by the work site the next day and see all the cars taking advantage the all your day's work.

A few days ago, i had the pleasure of attending a tour of South San Francisco's Corporation Yard. A building which houses the city departments in charge of sewer repairs, street lights, street cleaning, street signs and street maintenance. This visit reminded me of my old ambition. A desire I don't think I'll ever get to satisfy.

Where did i get this idea that an honest living requires blood and sweat. I guess i can attribute these values to the TV i watched growing up. I remember Fred Flintstone working the quarry, and whether the episode showed him at work or not, we knew he was working at the quarry that day because it was in the intro to the cartoon. I never related much with Mr. Slate, it was Fred and Barney I respected for their hard work. Maybe you remember in the movie Annie, when Annie asked "How will EARN MY KEEP?". To this day, I still feel that a night after a physically hard day's work is so much more enjoyable when you know you've earned that rest with your sweat and strain. When your muscles ache and skin is sunburned.

There are some smells that don't seem to wash off. At my job, you often get transmission oil in your hair. Grease washes out, engine oil... that washes out too. Tranny fluid.... almost impossible to remove, I cannot tell you why. So when you go home and shower, and you feel fresh, there are some smells that will always remind you of the day's work. On the street, those fellas have a certain smell. It's these smells that separate the working men, the "Paul Bunyans" from the hedge fund guy or the computer analyst. I maintain, when you work so hard that you can still smell your job after a hot shower... you're a laborer.

Yes some people are good with their brains. They use their intellect to bargain and bullshit. They can use their mind to work statistics, formulas and numbers. Then there are the boys who use their brawn, their muscles and stamina. That to me is honorable and respectable and i envy the job they get to do everyday. I am lucky enough to work with my hands and i too have a physically challenging job but street maintenance is something I've always wanted to do. Unfortunately, as a woman, it isn't likely I'll ever get to enjoy a evening rest after a long day out with the cones, the back hoe, the bob cat, the gravel, the shovels and the ORANGE SHIRT.

a loner in the crowd

I don't know what happened to me. I'm not sure when it happened or if it's always been this way. I've always considered myself to be a little different. But it has become totally apparent to me that I am all alone in my interests. All alone in my thoughts and opinions.

I attended a dinner with some girlfriends last weekend. It was nice, though we've been in contact since we were in junior high ( 18 years ago ), this was our first holiday get together. We had finger foods, a little to drink, some karaoke ( i didn't dare ) and a quick little gift exchange. It was nice.

It was during this dinner that I noticed my lack of kindred ship with these girls. Though I love them, though I'd hurt someone for them and though I'd feel empty without them in my life.... I know now that I do not fit in with them.

Here's me in a generic nutshell just to put it into perspective. I am an avid music buff BUT of a very diverse set of genres. I watch A LOT of television, I watch sports, I wear a lot of makeup, I shop a lot, I love animals and have reasonably green tendencies. I 'm extremely empathetic and have a knack for psychoanalyzing people and their actions.

Here's where life gets lonely. I love music, I'm sure everyone else loves music too but I F*ing LOVE music. At the Presidential Inauguration when I heard Diane Feinstein announce ItzakPearlman and Yo Yo Ma were going to play John Williams, I screamed and grabbed a tissue because I knew I was about to lose it. When I hear songs like "he ain't heavy" by the Hollies or "the miracle" by Queen. I can feel the dopamine travelling through my body. Which is all and good BUT I don't have any friends who feel the same about those songs.

More loneliness? Ok! So after dinner while we gather up our things and pack up some to go boxes ( or was that just me? ) we were discussing books. AGAIN I find no common interests there either. They are talking about books they've read and have suggested others also read... hook line and sinker another one is hooked and will also read that book or books by that author. I can't even get a book club together via craigslist to read my books with me. Locally that is, I do belong to a few fan clubs for my favorite authors.

Even my own husband is standing outside my bubble. He reads completely different books, he listens to entirely different music, he has such a different taste than I it's pathetic .

I remember one morning in Las Vegas, in the car with 2 girlfriends we were on our way to drop us off at the airport after a nice Vegas weekend. I was surprised to hear the 2 girls talking about their favorite NBA basketball players and teams. Then discussing rosters or certain seasons..... WTF? This was a total surprise, I never knew that they kept track of players from year to year. Nice but again sad to see that my friends are capable of the same activities as me, I am a big baseball fan and do keep track of ball players ( fantasy baseball leagues ) but as usual, we are watching different sports.

My sister is a big Twilight freak oops Twilight Fan. Understandably, it's cute and the main character in the movie is quiet fetching. What pisses me off is that my cousins have been hooked on it too. I've been sending my cousin Stephanie books for 2 years now and have yet to get even the slightest bit of feedback. Low and behold I see a Facebook Wall comment from Steph to my sis saying " just finished it and I love it! I'm gonna read it again! " Me being an empathetic person is now so sad for myself! The twist in the knife? My other cousin Marion, who hates school, dropped out of HS, hasn't read a thing since elementary school even read it. I thought to myself.... surely she 's talking about the movie...... NO She actually sat her ass down and read Twilight.

Now my husband wonders why I want to go on Craigslist and put out an ad for a new friend. Well of course he wonders, he's got a shit load of friends who are all interested in the same stuff. He's got a bus full of friends who share similar opinions, styles and hobbies.

What's a better solution, forget my own desires and go with the flow? Stick with the main stream of music and read whatever the NY Times tells us to read?

As I look through pictures of my life, it looks happy. There is laughter, food and friends. On the other hand, once that night out at the club or dinner has passed, there is scarcely a reason to communicate otherwise. I doubt anyone would want to go to the symphony with me, or to see a rock concert with me. And I don't mean go with me just to go with me, I mean want to go. And that's what this blog is about..... want what I want, like what I like. That's something we all need. In any shape or form, a little camaraderie is what we all desire.

oh my gosh... GET AWAY!

Warning

This post contains rude, racist and stereotype material.  This post is intended for callus, opinionated and like-minded bigots.  

Have you ever entered a public restroom and seen a hand written sign that reads " please no flush paper in toilet"?  Well isn't it always a CERTAIN type of restaurant?  I'm gonna tip toe around what i'm trying to say here.... but you know what I mean..... mm hmmm yeah.

Well have you ever walked past a family in a store and wondered why in the hell are they yelling at each other, then realized that's just how loud there are?  Isn't it usually a certain nationality of people?  The same nationality of the restaurant aforementioned?  mmm hmmm

Now, do you find that those people usually smell like fart?  I do.  

I mean geez... how nasty is it to use the potty and see a garbage can full of other people's toilet paper?  Are you f*ing serious?  

Let me stop here before I say too much.... 

mm hmmm.  You know what I'm talkin about.  

This is the year i've been waiting for....

I remember sometime in my early teens literally praying to the Lord for an ass.  Yes no need to read that again... i laid in bed at night saying my Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be... then thank him for this and that.. then ask for this or that.... One of those thats was .......... ahem....  a nice ass. I was one of those this girls who didn't need a bra, could wear running shorts as basketball shorts... I had no body!  No tits, no hips, no calves ( still don't have calves )... I was feeling pretty whack, i didn't have the digs, I didn't have the nice Latina ass all the girls at our predominantly latino junior high had. 

Boy was the lord good to me.... and then some.... I'm now making it my goal this year to undo his graciousness.  Maybe he has a different idea than I of a nice ass but this is a bit much Lord. Please don't get me wrong, I am thankful.  I do see your power and I am in awe of your capabilities,  but I'm a walking garbage disposal in MAC makeup.  I am an animal loving meat eater.  I am a peace lover with anger issues.  I am a germaphobe who doesn't mind eating certain types of dirt.  I know what I like, I certainly know what I don't like but I am sure of this..... I want a smaller ass now.  I'll probably work it into my talks with the man upstairs again.  If he isn't fed up with me.... I did keep my last promise to him.... No Smoking for moi!  

Let's get to the point don't we?

RESOLUTIONS for 2009 ( my best year ever)

1.  Lose 30 pounds

2   Save 20 Grand

That's it.  Fuck baby steps, i'm 30 fucking years old.  My mom had 4 babies by now.... i'm not a spring chicken... I want money and to feel good.  2009, you better be with me of get fuck out of my way because whether I have 30 more years to live or 5.... i'm gonna have what I want.  

This may sound presumptuous and crass but I have everything else... my dog, my hubby, my friends, my Itunes and my truck.  I just can't fit into my clothes.  Is it so wrong to make this the year I get what I deserve.  Well unless I stop eating in the middle of the night and watching TV till the early morning i don't REALLY deserve a great bod but I'll add that to list in an addendum but to keep it easy i'll concentrate on those 2 main objectives.  

Don't spend and don't eat.

Muchas Gracias

Thanksgiving day is tomorrow and I won't be able to spend it with my family. I won't be able to spend it with my husband's family either.... I'm working =(

Still, though I won't be there to grub and watch TV with the fam and play with the pups.... I would still like to express my gratitude for all that I am blessed with and while i'm at it, if i'm so inclined I may also gripe about a few things I've yet to receive. just kidding =)

Let's start with the superficial stuff, since that stuff comes easiest. I am thankful for all my teeth and fingers. My family wouldn't have had enough money when I was growing up for braces so I'm lucky and very thankful for having all my teeth in such good condition. I'm pretty accident prone and careless to put it mildly and being a mechanic I'm extremely thankful for still having all my fingers and two eyeballs. My eyes are afflicted with penguecula but all in all, after some near misses I am beyond thankful for my eyes.

I'd also like to thank my shingles ( yes I said shingles) for helping me quit smoking for good. Again being a careless klutz, I definitely am no stranger to pain but my Lord, shingles hurts. It was a mild case but painful enough to make me never want to CAUSE any more illnesses. Notable mention would be that the case wasn't too severe. Shingles often leads to suicide, sufferers trying to escape the pain so if there is anything I should be thankful for, in a year as good as I've had.... that would have to be it.

NOW the good stuff, I had the best birthday ever this year. I for some reason have not been too expressive and open about my birthday. I'd just as soon go the entire day without reminding people of the significance of the day's date, I guess I get that from my dad. This year was a pretty big milestone, I turned 30 and was shocked to see friends put a dinner together for me......sigh. Thanks peeps!

I married this year, and along with weddings comes all the support and usual gatherings. I was surrounded by love and support, I honestly am not accustomed to the attention and frankly all the love and support. Thanks everyone, can't wait to make it up to you all.

A memory had come to me earlier.... one I had completely forgotten. I was asleep at our little apartment in San Mateo. I was asleep and for some reason woke up to see a part of my dresser had just caught fire. Idiodic me had left a candle burning on one of the shelves on my dresser. A dresser I had painted with about 3 coats of black paint. WHAT IN THE WORLD woke me up? I can sleep through my alarm for over an hour, I sleep like a bear... now what woke me up... the fire had just started?!?! It was God for sure, so literally THANKS GOD for saving the apartment.

2008 has flown by but not without definitely making a mark on my life. I'd like to give thanks to my friends and family new and old. Thank goodness for all the new little babies like our new niece Isabelle, Heather's baby due this week and for Morty making another birthday.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Don't make me get up out this chair, i will.....

As I remember it, when you're in the library... you're supposed to be quiet and make attempts to not disturb the people around you. I guess this isn't so anymore....

I was at the library in Redwood City a few weeks ago ( a greeeaaat library ) and I couldn't believe how noisy it was. There we people on their cell phones, homies walkin around calling to each other ( didn't know homies hung out at the library ). There we teenie bobbers chatting on their cells as they looked for a book, old ladies asking for assistance also not whispering. MY LORD, what happened in the time between when I was a kid and now that an age old rule of "ssshhh this is a library keep you voice down" has gone out the window.

Just yesterday I was at the South San Francisco library and found pretty much the same activity, an old lady talking like she needed to talk loud enough for her to hear herself in her hearing aid, or some kids running around all rambunctious in the " kid's area "... which isn't far enough for from the study area for me. I understand it's impossible to make everyone be courteous but what I don't understand is that the librarians just don't say it anymore....

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! THIS IS A LIBRARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby It's Cold Outside

oh my goooodness =) Tomorrow marks the beginning of a special time for me.... Christmas season! Whoo hoo... why so early you ask? or rather WTF you ask? Well tomorrow radio station 96.5fm Koit is going to start their non-stop Xmas music. I friggin LOVE it =) I never tire of it and continue to listen to my own Xmas songs clear into February. So starting early is just fine with me.

My favorite Xmas songs in no particular order:

Song For Winter's Night ...............Sarah McLaughlin
Green Christmas ....................... BareNaked Ladies
Christmas By The Bay ................. Tim Hockenberry
O Holy Night ................................ Josh Groban
Celebrate Me Home .............Aaron Neville or Kenny Loggins
Hard Candy Christmas ................. Dolly Pardon
Just A Kid ....................... Kenny Chesney
Baby It's Cold Outside ........Bing Crosby ( not the new one at all )
Christmas In San Francisco................. Vic Damone

Tic Tac sir?

I have an idea I'd like to try and implement but don't really know how.

I had a dentist appt. today, my regular cleaning I get every six months. Perfect teeth, no cavities, healthy gums, no problems.

Just like every time, this time was no different, the dental assistant hands me a little bag with a new toothbrush, floss and toothpaste. The thought occurred to me as I noticed the little plastic bag they were all package in. Instead of the usual whitish plastic bag, they had a cute pink plastic bag with a breast cancer awareness ribbon printed on it. Like a "gift bag".

It makes sense that our dentists would give us this little gift bag since we are supposed to change our toothbrush every 6 months. This is my thought. Many of us have an Oral B or Sonicare mechanical toothbrush, or even the Crest SpinBrush.

How wonderful would it be if everyone that received this little bag of goodies gave it to a homeless person. They don't have insurance, they probably don't have a toothbrush. How fortunate are we to be able to afford our own toothbrush... this freebie is a perfect opportunity to give to the less fortunate. If you don't have an electric rechargeable toothbrush, you probably at least like to pick your own particular style and grip. Making this freebie clutter.... It doesn't have to be.

Whenever I see free dog food or whatever at a store... I always grab as many as a i can so I can give it to the homeless people with dogs. I mean jeez if the human is hungry... how much food to you think the poor dog is getting?

I'm sure everyone gives when they can, but I wish every little gift bag the dentist gives away to us can somehow make it to a less fortunate person. Seriously, I usually just stuff it in a drawer to use once on vacation then throw it away. How sad, someone could get better use out of it.

Ear Muffs

Hahaha!  So funny....

At my parent's house it's  pretty hilarious to hear us talk to each other ( jokingly of course )... You'll hear us calling mom a skank hoe or trickin ass bitch.... You'll hear mom calling us "bitch" or my brother a fat twat!  haha... she was laughing today asking us why we never told her what "twat" really meant.  Uh.. what did she think it meant?  Haha she thought it was just another version  of "twit"....  Poor mom hope she doesn't say that in public.  That's "behind closed doors talk"!

Brunch Party Of One

So it's Thursday, my Monday.  It's time to shower soon so I can start my swing shift, I've taken my dog on a long walk and boy did I need it.  Him too but more so me... I ate pumpkin pie this morning... ick, I don't even like pumpkin pie.  This one was different though.  It was a little burnt, which makes it something else entirely I think.  There's a hint of change to the taste, the crust which is already good is now harder and the black parts are nice and toasty crispy =)  Of course if you're me, you like to have more than one texture of food in you mouth at one time, so while you take little bites of burnt pumpkin pie you also toss a few cheetoes in.  Mmmm  I'm not sure if it's the flavors, the array of different textures or the fat...but this is delicious and there's no one here to compete with.  The whole pie, the whole bag is all mine.  Of course all that yumminess must be washed down right?  I make sure to drink while food is still in my mouth, again to enjoy all the foods, textures and tastes together.  I take gulps of orange juice.  MMMmmm  what a breakfast.  Or is that brunch?  It was already about noon when I feasted on all that.... whichev... it was a classic pig out and one I now don't have to regret because of the long walk I took my dog on. 

The Sounds of Lazy

I can't help it... I cannot stop it... why should I if THEY don't. Why should I stop giving the evil eye when THOSE people don't TRY to lift their feet when they walk.

It's a pet peeve, I just cannot stand it when I hear feet, shoes or slippers sliding on the ground. I think it's so unattractive and just so indicative of laziness. To me, dragging your feet is as much an impediment as a lisp or having a stutter. Only this is worse because it can be helped. It can be avoided.

I was at the grocery store the other day and apparently was totally OVER IT that night because I was looking at everyone like they were smelling like piss. It seemed everyone, whether they were dressed up for the night, dressed down for bed or just in their regular fobby ghetto gear ( wife beater, jogging pants and slippers ). Everyone was walking around sliding their feet like it felt good. I even came across this foot slider with his daughter of about 8-10 years old who was sliding even more than he was. What kind of father would raise his kid with such a bad habit?

Is is just me? With how much we spend on our shoes, isn't it safe to assume we'd all try to not ruin them?

In my opinion it's just disgusting, believe me I've got other pet peeves... for instance I don't like it when people chew with their mouth open. UGH gag me.........

Another? When people shove their car into reverse or drive when the car is still moving in the other direction.... GOD people don't you know what's going on in there? And then there are the people who don't apply their emergency brake!

Seriously... the foot dragging thing is so much more irritating. How nasty is it to look at the bottom of a person's shoe and see just one area of the sole all worn out? Ugh slap your self already! It's laziness, I grew up bow legged, I've got scoliosis but you won't ever catch me dragging my shoes on the ground, i eat like a pig and you won't ever catch me eating with my mouth open and I'm ALWAYS in a dam hurry but you will never catch me switching into drive while my car is still rolling backwards.

PERFECT! I just looked up the meaning of "impediment" and found a definition I totally agree with.

Impediment

1. Now Rare an impeding or being impeded; obstruction
2. anything that impedes; specif.,
a. a speech defect; stutter, lisp, stammer, etc.
b. anything preventing the making of a legal contract, esp. of a marriage contract
c. R.C.Ch. anything making marriage or ordination invalid or illicit

This is perfect, just what i hoped it would say.... because seriously would you look twice at a guy that's dragging his kicks on the ground as he walks around and say YES I'll definitely sign a marriage contract with you! Didn't think so... it's an impediment that can totally be helped.

Drunk dumb ass 16 year old kills a taxi cab driver

I haven't seen the whole report myself but this is what I know to be true. At around 6:15am on Monday 10/13... essentially Sunday night for those dumb asses drinkng underage till the next morning on GOD's day, a 16 year old kid was driving southbound on El Camino Real in San Mateo crossing 31st between TGI Fridays and Sears at the Hillsdale mall. He was speeding up the ramp where the road goes under Hillsdale Blvd, when he ran a red and T-bones a taxi cab on the driver's side and kills the unexpecting cabi. The dumbfuck then proceeds to run like a bitch only to be caught... so he can then be repeatedly fucked like a bitch for years to come. Hopefully. Of course they are keeping his name a secret because he's a minor, and because he's a minor he is being held in Juvenile hall. Boo throw his ass in jail and leave him there. What'll he learn in Juvi? He's gonna come out thinking punishment ain't so bad... It's ok to speed and run lights and kill people. Now he's some kind of big shot...

I cannot understand why this fucking idiot was speeding and running red lights on a holiday monday morning. You're drunk, don't drive. If you feel you must drive... drive slow. I would be the first person to slam my kid's face into the pavement if I ever found out he A) drove without a licence B) drank underaged C) ran a red light D) killed some poor guy driving a cab E) crashed my car. This kid did all 5.

After his little Jetta Tboned the cab, it caught fire and he took off running leaving his two passengers trapped in the back seat with multiple fractures and burns. They were pulled to safety by witnesses. He just ran off..... First she shows off how fast he drives..then he shows off how fast he runs.

The following is just random irrational angry pointless thoughts... Read if you want but you've been warned.

Maybe this is why I hope I have a girl. I work with all men i can tell you that a lot of them are assholes. I've played baseball in leagues with ALL guys and I can tell you a lot of them are assholes. At work we watch the news and one report after another it's the same thing.... a man raped this woman, 3 men robbed this building, a man kidnapped this young girl.... it never stops. Everyday, men are making fucked up decisions and ruining peoples retirement funds, men are mugging people on the street, throwing dogs into on coming traffic, ramming cows with fork lift forks... i've seen guys put a cat in a bag and slam it on a tree trunk. I've seen guys shoot a singing little bird out of a tree with a BB gun. WHY?

Are parents not teaching their children how to make wise choices... to stop and think before they act. In the past few years how many deaths have there been at the LA/SF baseball games. That i know of including the death in LA, I believe there have been 3.

This part is even more pointless ramble

Around my parent's house all you see are the middle class kids driving their parent's audi or SUVs and they're skirting around and speeding up the street at like 50mph. One even lost control and pulled a hit and run on our Cadillac. What is the point of acting so stupid, why do you need to run reds and skirt out and almost hit a person walking their dog? OMG people are so lucky i'm not a cop. I'd be that cop you all hate... I'd catch everyone that rolls through stop signs, I'd be that "terminator" cop waiting around the bend on Westborough blvd.

As you can see there is no structure to this blog or any of my blogs... i just write and write and write. Hopefully you can understand what i'm getting at though.

interesting...

I got this email and in light of all the crap goin on I thought I'd post this quote.  

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."

Thomas Jefferson 1802

Who was that?

So I'm at work and I'm about to make myself some tea... walking towards the water machine when I notice this gigantic moth landing on my arm.  I mean big this guy was fuzzy, cream colored and old looking.  I wasn't scared, I like moths... I hate mosquitos ( i'll save that for another rant, though I should go off on that tangent NOW since I have a mosquito bite on my face!! ), hate ticks ( oooh do i hate ticks ) and nowadays...I'm really beginning to HATE ants.  Moths however, don't bother me at all.  In fact I let him chill on my arm for about 15 minutes, or until I noticed that everytime I moved my arm my jacket was kinda smooshing him.  Trippy thing was that he was looking up at me so intently and his big ass face was just starting up at me.

(please notice the beautiful blue and yellow paint on the ground... i did that shit... bleh) again with the digressingssss.  Well it was at this moment that I remembered a Filipino superstition.  When a moth comes near you ( and this one was really near me) that is believed to be a loved one that has left us, coming by to see you or say goodbye to you.  I suddenly realized how much this guy looked like my dad.  NOOOOO!   I call my house, he's fine.  Whew!  I call my spouse just in case cause he's driving home from Carmel.... he's fine too.  hmm, if this isn't a loved one saying goodbye why is he sitting on my arm staring up at my face?

Well I let him rest on my tool box cause I've got to get back to work but I wonder, does this little visit speak of my love for animals and little thingys like him?  Like Snow White but less charming so instead of a pretty butterfly I get this old man of a moth?  

I left him sitting on my box, I was petting him and stuff but even I began to feel like that may be a little weird... besides with my fingers and hands being so tough now I couldn't even feel him under my fingertips so I stopped so I don't crush him.  I imagine he'll be dead on my box tomorrow unless one of my coworkers see him and smoosh him.  A couple weeks ago I had a big ol'dragonfly.  Dead of course but he was an interesting thing to look at.  I couldn't bring myself to touch him, I had to hold him with gloves on.  He was really cool to look at though, seriously, when do you ever get to look at those guys?  Okay I get it, I'm sounding a bit morbid but eventually the wind blew him off my toolbox.  While i'm talkin about bugs.... a fucking mosquito bit my cheek this week.  I still have the bite right now!  Fucker.. I was driving around the yard parking a bus when I noticed something fly off my face.  MUTHA fucka that better have been a moth, i wouldn't mind that so much, though it would be gross... please don't let it be a mosquito.  Really though let me check online, i'm sure they have no purpose.  eh.. they have a slight purpose.  Their eggs feed fish and frogs eat mosquitos.  ooooooh so why is he biting my face?  Anyway.  It's 1am on Saturday and i'm feverish.  So I'm blogging about bugs.   So?

PS....  I'm in charge of turning on the bug zapper at work everynight at 6pm.  It's a task i'm proud to take on.  

I'm falling deeper and deeper in love

I'm watching TV at my parent's house and one of the shows has this great song i've always thought was cute but never knew the title or artist.  I ask my mama if she knew it... of course she didn't.  If I don't know it she definitely wouldn't know it.  I wondered, would I get lucky enough that the show would play this song long enough for MY LOVE to figure it out?  Could I get to close enough to the TV and get my IPHONE out quick enough?  It's been a bit slow and stuff but would it do me right this time?  YES!  I find my phone in my purse, get it to the home screen, hit SHAZAM and begin to tag the song... dammit the chick in the show is talkin over the song... shazam can't figure it out.  I try again... my goodness the song is still playing pretty loud and clear too.  Ha!  she shuts up the the song is still goin...  Shazam!  I got the song title and artist.  [Sigh...] 

When you have something that will provide you with precious info on a dime, info that no one could give you just like that... if you don't know any other person that likes the same shit as you...and there for could NEVER tell you the name of that song playing right now.... you can't help but fall in love with this thing.  

I love you Iphone

The Sundays

Here's Where the Story Ends

Monotony

I can't imagine what i'm about to rant about would be of interest to anyone but dammit i'm over it and i wanna kick and scream!!

I was at work last finally doin some work after 2 weeks of taping and painting. We're getting the shop ready for a base inspection ( we do it twice a year it sucks!). Can't tell you why but it seams they ( my supervisors ) think i'm the only one in the shop that knows how to tape up the lines on the ground and repaint the lines on each stall in shop. Scrape the old paint, tape up the lines, paint ( 3 coats ), paint all the bus lifts, paint all brake pit, paint the steam rack! Fuck!

Ok finally yesterday I get to do some real work. I'm hit with the realization..... I fuckin hate my job! I hate the fuckin monotony of fixing the same buses again and again. If my car was this problematic i'd set it on fire!

Ok let me explain a little in case I still have someone's attention. At the base I work at we've got a little over 120 buses. I was given a defect card from the driverof 104 stating that the ABS dash light was on all day on . I look in the file for bus 104 to check the history...that way if another mechanic has worked on the ABS ( anti-lock brack system ) we wouldn't be wasting time doin something another mechanic has already tried. Anyway! I can see that this same bus was in the shop a few days ago for the PA mic being bad, it was replaced. Last week the AC system wouldn't turn on... a fuse was replaced. Just last week the ABS light was on and was already repaired!!! Holy Crap! We fix'em and fix'em and fucking fix'em and they keep fuckin breaking! Those are good buses, they are clean, they run smooth, they've got good tires and good brakes don't worry about that....but My God changing a transmission is one thing, changing the brakes is another but constantly fixing those little things and troubleshooting things that shouldn't break so often is ridiculous. If my car had an ac problem one day and a headlight out the next i'd sell that shit!

That's what we do all day, on swing shift we fix those little problems the driver's write up and i can't believe how often those things go bad. Headlights only last a few months, wipers fall off during service, the passengers are cutting the seats with a knife. On graveyard it's the same shit different story. We do preventative maintenance, where we look inside, outside, under the bus and in the engine for "defects".... after all the work we do on swing shift fixing all the driver's defects... the guys on graveyard will still find like 30 interior defects and 15 exterior defects ie. lights out moulding falling off, wipers bad. Dam! Now swing shift has to fix all that shit.... it's the same shit all day all week all year!

Thanks goodness i'm in school trying to do something better, more lucrative and hopefully more rewarding. It's just a scary thought to know that i'm not even half way through my first semester back and have so long to go. That just tells me how much longer I have to deal with all these buses constantly needing the same little repairs.

I've just got to hang in there and before too long i'll be working 3 12's and complaing about something else entirely i'm sure. The difference..... a lot more money =)

USA Daily

So I have this habit of butting my nose into the business of strangers I come across.  Whether at the mall, the gym, class or in line at the post office... If I see someone doing something wrong or could use some Un-Solicited Advice.  I've been told by friends and family that I should try to keep my USA ( if you will )  to myself.  

I've got time and you're reading this anyway so I'll share some that I can remember....  then I'll update you as they occur in the future.  You never know I may get slapped one day.  

I was at the gym with my friend Anne when I saw some asian lady on the leg press machine. She had her feet pressing the platform with her legs positioned waaaay to low and I can see how she was holding her knees, and the look on her face showed that she was already hurting... um hello?! this is a leg exercise not a knee cap exercise... so I walked over and told her to position her legs higher then I proceeded to explain to her why and why her knees were hurting.  She easily coulda said " Thanks BubbleButt but I know what I'm doin! I'm obviously more fit than you! "  She appreciated it ( i think ) and I went on my way ( and by on my way I mean working off the bubble butt ).  

A good one was the time I told some young cholo in my ROP class how to get rid of his acne problem.  I've got a great acne secret and it's really cheap.  So why wouldn't he appreciate free advice from a person outside his peer group of cholos and cholas right?  I don't think he minded and he never shot me so it was cool I think....  It either didn't work or his acne was too severe.  hmmm I tried =)

We've got this wall around us when we're out in a store or in an elevator for instance.  We walk around and keep to ourselves... we don't make eye contact, we don't bother smiling or acknowledging the people around us.  I feel it's fine to tell a stranger "bless you" when they sneeze, if I come across a person needing some of the precious info in my little pee brain why shouldn't I offer some advice or info?  Sometimes they appreciate it and sometimes they look at me like I'm just putting up a diversion for my plan to pick pocket them.  I don't care I kinda like the interaction with strangers.  I've spent enough keeping to myself and walking around in a bubble.  Also I'm often out shopping or in lines solo anyway so this keeps in interesting... we should all try it.  

Be careful though...I was friendly with a guy at the library a few months ago... turns out he's a scary creep.... kinda long story.  

whoo hoo life just got better!

ok so it's not as exciting as the title but it really is to me!!!  I love to read but with my dumb ass class having a dumb ass book that's so boring my dumb ass can't stay interested, I haven't been able to get into any new books.  =(

I've discovered a way to keep up with my favorite author!!  I went to the library and picked up two books on CD!!  So with my commute from South City to San Carlos every day, or just on errands, I can listen to my books =)  

Yay!!  I'm a nerd I know =( but I love it.  

Futility

ok let me just start with it's about 80 something degrees outside.  I'm visiting my parents house cause I miss my DVR.  Of course anytime I pass by my dad asks me to do this and do that... help him with this and help his with that.....  Of course I don't mind I see it as my job and my pleasure to help.  However, I HATE working on his 2 old Dodge Caravans.  The '90 is blue with wood grain panels and the '92 is grey, and they're are both just terribly hurt and embarrassing.  Inside and out.  I imagine none of you are too familiar with them but in case you are, you've sen that the hood and roof are alway bald and rusty.   I can't tell you how many times i've been to the Pick-n-Pull or Pull-Your-Part trying to keep those stupid vans alive.  

Well I'm in the middle of all my Judge Alex and Judge Milian shows when low and behold....Dear old dad wants me to help him with the blue van.  The rear window wiper is constantly running and it's draining the battery.  Ugh...so it's in the 80's outside and i'm working on this hoopty.  I'm really just soooo embarrassed that i'm out on the street in clear view ( not our driveway ) taking interior panels out trying to find the right connectors to disconnect.  We're holding up the rear hatch with a wooden stick, the fuckin van almost didn't start.  Of course with it running i'm standing in front of the tail pipe while I try to get this wiper to stop running.  UGH,  whatever this is boring I'm sure but I get it done.... BUT to make my point.  My dad is driving it around to charge up the batteries.... it dies at a stop sign.  Now he needs to drive with a foot lightly pressing on the throttle while his left food is on the brakes. I'm sure it's the fuel pump or something but for the love of Pete!!!!!!  Just get rid of them.  I don't wanna spend anymore time on these fuckin vans.  I'd rather spend my time at their house landscaping or something.... like watching Judge Judy or other educational programs.   

These are the times in our life, when bad things in life are so few

I have got to say....not a bad way to hit 30.

I expected to have quick dinner with "hubby" and his brother for my 30th birthday eve. There are a few reasons I wasn't feeling like goin out that night, I couldn't understand why Charles wouldn't let me just hang at home. I wasn't feeling like I looked my best at all.. did a sloppy job with my make up, gained a bunch of weight and totally wasn't feeling my outfit or the red Judy Garland shoes I came out with. etc... etc...blah blah I digress

Charles had us driving around for about 2 hours (seriously... we left his house at 6) by 8:oopm I was already calling him a retard and a moron but he stayed sweet and calm. Long story short... we walk into Butterfly (a cute restaurant sitting on the water in the Embarcadero area)at about 8:15pm. What do I see? Chris sitting at a table like I expected, so I start to walk towards his table and.............

SURPRISE!! 2 more tables beside him are full our friends there to celebrate my birthday! OMG! My birthday!? Yeah ok a tear or two may have escaped but they we most definitely tears of joy because that was a true and perfect surprise!

Some sneaky people made sure they did their part to set it up for perfection... "aaw I'm so bummed i won't be there for your 30th".... " yeah sure have a BBQ at my house" .... " yeah maybe i'll come out to dinner, call me up". Oh and then, there's Mario. . . . . "i'm working at the Hornblower" as we run into him just as we enter Butterfly. That shoulda tipped me off but he was quite believable I tell you.

I was totally tickled hot pink that night to see so many friends there to spend quite a bit of money for a not so tasty chunk of chicken for me and my birthday. I hope they had a good time because, hearing that "SURPRISE!" and seeing all of them there for me was one of the best feelings i've felt. Thanks everyone that was there and super thanks to all you that put the shin dig together. LUV YA!

No favors please, I'm fine where I am!

So I was rudely awoken this morning at 11:05am with a call from human resources. At Samtrans we've just completed a hiring cycle, it's rare that they hire for the mechanic positions and the process is pretty laggard. I applied back in March and actually passed the written exam. The "hands on" test was another story, I failed miserably and had to suffer through the waiting and embarrassment of everyone knowing I failed, how I failed....why I failed and simply being one of few that failed. Last month they were hiring again, this time for the outside public and for anyone [inside who'd like to try again]. I told her I'll pass, I couldn't bare the attention and heartbreak of publicly failing again... everyday it's the same questions while we wait for the results...." how'd you do?, how was the test? any results yet? " it's such a build up to only have to finally follow it up with " yeah I got my letter I didn't pass =( ". So when they opened it up again in June, I didn't apply.

A lot of guys did and I did my best to tell them what was on the test and where I went wrong. I personally didn't want to go thru with it again. However if I did reapply, I would skip the written test and go straight to the hands on test. I knew this and everyone KEPT telling me that. I know!!!! I told them honestly I'm not interested I can't deal with the heartache or the let down again. Such a girl thing to say in such a masculine work environment but WTF I am a girl!!

So everyone in this 2nd round takes their written test, they wait for their responses...some are invited to take the hands on..... NOW here's the point to this long post............. My friend Ric is pulled into the office by one of the graveyard supervisors after our shift. He tells him not to talk about the test too much, ( he means to me ) cause "2 people who took the test in March are complaining they weren't invited to retake the hands on even though they could've applied". I'm working the math and there were only 2 of us that didn't pass. Of course Ric told me right away cause we carpool. I am of course offended that the other guy that failed through such a fit he didn't get "invited" when he should've reapplied.... probably put my name out there too that I should get another chance. Now I look like I want a favor or preferential treatment from the usual process. NO THANKS!

Point is... I told the lady Brenda at HR " no thanks, I understand the hiring and testing process. I had the opportunity to reapply and would have if I were interested. Truth is...I'd love the extra money and the opportunity to move up and prove to everyone that I CAN pass this test. Unfortunately my pride won't let me fail so publicly again AND for that supervisor to say it that way..." 2 people are complaining they weren't INVITED to retake" fuck that!!! I did no such thing and for that will NOT accept such an unprecedented offer at Samtrans. I won't take any favors.... the other guy can go right on ahead. Good Luck to him! I don't envy the route he had to take to get thet position... My pride is too high for all that static and possible let down.

ok..... RANT over!

Why you dirty RAT!!!

So yesterday I was so excited to tell Joh my accomplishement of not eating a midnight or 2am snack. I know this shouldn't be regarded as anything special but if you really knew me... and with only 2 "followers" i think you both do. NOT eating late night is a rare event for me. She told me " good! now just keep it up for the rest of the week and you'll be over it completely!" Sounds nice but knowing me... and I know me better than the 2 of you.... I am a dirty dirty night crawling rat!

This was a bad one....there were 3 left over IN and OUT double doubles in the fridge (drool). I'm up as usual watching all my episodes of Judge Alex, Judge Judy and Judge Mathis and Judge Joe Brown ( i'm gonna be a lawyer.........j/k) I just like'em. Of course my tummy knows it business time come 1-2am. So what do I do... pass up the strawberries, pass up the usual snack of colby or chedder cheese ( uh hello? I am a rat ), skip the sugar free jello pudding and go straight for the Double Double. I walk away from the fridge leaving the door wide open.... i leave the other 2 burgers on the island in the tray... run off to devour it in my rat hole. Of course the fridge alarm starts ringing from the door being left wide open waking my dad who I hear walking around the kitchen looking around like WTF? I peek my head out say oops sorry i'll put it all away, he looks at me like " it's 2:45 am?" well.... what the hell am I suppose to do with In and Out in the fridge? Eat cheese? I think the better answer would be... eat the strawberries?... drink water?. As I wipe monster sauce off my chin... I'm repulsed by myself and curse my lack of dicipline... I tell myself " Paris Hilton would soooo not be eating this right now, like this, She isn't a rat, she's slim because she knows how to resist.

Nothing could have kept me away from it, I've even gone so far as to tell myself " don't do it, the devil wants you to eat that "..... doesn't work, I should be sooo much bigger than I am but clearly have issues I must tackle before I start having babies or it won't be a pretty picture.

So that's why I didn't eat last night... because I deserve to be starved for a few days. OOOOH and to make it worse, that wasn't my first IN and OUT burger of the night. Ugh, glutton! Well tonight I had Taco Bell at 1am but they were Fresco Tacos... that's healthy right? I'd say it's better than 2 nights ago!

Someone please set some traps in the kitchen.... I'm the worse kind, a rat with posable thumbs and no guts to tell the Devil to "fuck off I'm gonna wait for breakfast". oooh I hope i don't get pregnant! It won't be a pretty site =(

That's money gone... I'm back to low risk!

ok so I know some people are really losing money and suffering substantial loss to their savings and retirement with what's been going on with the financial market and on wall street.  Well I too have been hit a little.  I'm not big into stocks and funds but my retirement account lost $1100 last week!!!  AAAAAHHHH  dammit...I woulda pulled the money out and reallocated but I was stuck at Charles' and didn't have the account info or phone numbers.... there you go $1100 gone.    

Just more irritation to add to the inconvenience of not being near my computer, my clothes, my files, my DVR, my shoes, my purses, everything.  AAAHH!   

Screwed The Pooch

This weekend I turn the ripe old age of 30. I really really wanted to have a BBQ at a park with access to a softball field, but of course with the last minute planning.... I wasn't able to get anything but Sellick park. Now anyone that knows Sellick knows that it's cold, damp, dirty and soggy, and anyone that know Sellick knows it's not worth a $105 rental. Ideally I would have gotten my hands on a picnic area at Beresford in San Mateo. Nice and sunny, parks for kids, basketball court, baseball field and it's clean! All for a whopping $40!! Dammit! I'm usually on top of things and would have had this booked weeks ago if I were at home =(

I haven't celebrated a birthday since I was 18... and the low lives I was hangin with back then didn't even remember it was my birthday when I turned 21 ( =( again ) . Whatev, I know I don't wanna go to a club or lounge. I suppose I can keep myself occupied with some shopping and grubbing.

It's hard to do homework in bed

So i'm calling my self a student these day but have yet to do any homework. I've got my cool backpack...with 2 books that cost me $240!! I've got 2 very cool looking composition books from the "back to school" sales, and I've been carrying around this laptop... but I have yet to do some homework....I've taken notes on the videos, taken notes on what i'm expected to do for homework...but everytime I try to read my lesson, I get lazy.... well duh! I'm laying in my bed. I know what I need to do. Tomorrow, or the next day ( can't be pushy ) i'm gonna grab a table at
Starbucks or a cumfy chair at Barnes and Nobles and just have at it! I'm gonna sit with one leg up on the arm of the cumfy chair and just handle it.... I hope, oh geez am I gonna waste my time and money again. If i were my kid i'd take my phone away and tell me NO MORE TV! and go do some squats!!

Hello? Testing 1-2 Testing....

hmmm..... So this is blogging? I've never been interested in sharing my thought via "blogging", but these days... for various reasons. Blogging is sounding great....

Whether anyone reads it, whether people think i'm interesting or an ignoramous... I'm gonna treat this blog like a composition book for my Psychology 100 and Sociology 100 classes, as a much needed journal and pretty much like a place for me to vent out my sweet, angry, hateful and pointless thoughts.

I don't deny that my views are tainted by elements such as stereotypes and prejudices be it sexist, racist or whatev ( but I'm working on that), hipocacy or self centeredness . I'm back in school and taking 2 classes that can help me sort my thoughts...maybe i'm actually not as ugly inside as I make myself sound ( to the few that are forced to hear me say the thinks I think ).

Sociology...... a class I took right out of high school in 1996... i repeat.... 1996. It's 2008!!! And my Psychology class, I actually passed that one... but it was so long ago i've got to take it again. It'll be fun though, i'm at a time in my life where these 2 classes in particular would be a good start. A good tool to sort through my own thoughts and my own issues. A fun way to break myself into the whole "college student" thing, especially the route i've taken this semester. I'm taking the telecourses, so far so good. I looooove TV and so far, after 1 week. I've DVR'd my classes and find them pretty interesting.

So this is it for the first blog.... hmmm fun? boring? do i like it? dunno... I think I do. It's free so that's good!