Friday, January 2, 2009

This is the year i've been waiting for....

I remember sometime in my early teens literally praying to the Lord for an ass.  Yes no need to read that again... i laid in bed at night saying my Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be... then thank him for this and that.. then ask for this or that.... One of those thats was .......... ahem....  a nice ass. I was one of those this girls who didn't need a bra, could wear running shorts as basketball shorts... I had no body!  No tits, no hips, no calves ( still don't have calves )... I was feeling pretty whack, i didn't have the digs, I didn't have the nice Latina ass all the girls at our predominantly latino junior high had. 

Boy was the lord good to me.... and then some.... I'm now making it my goal this year to undo his graciousness.  Maybe he has a different idea than I of a nice ass but this is a bit much Lord. Please don't get me wrong, I am thankful.  I do see your power and I am in awe of your capabilities,  but I'm a walking garbage disposal in MAC makeup.  I am an animal loving meat eater.  I am a peace lover with anger issues.  I am a germaphobe who doesn't mind eating certain types of dirt.  I know what I like, I certainly know what I don't like but I am sure of this..... I want a smaller ass now.  I'll probably work it into my talks with the man upstairs again.  If he isn't fed up with me.... I did keep my last promise to him.... No Smoking for moi!  

Let's get to the point don't we?

RESOLUTIONS for 2009 ( my best year ever)

1.  Lose 30 pounds
2   Save 20 Grand


That's it.  Fuck baby steps, i'm 30 fucking years old.  My mom had 4 babies by now.... i'm not a spring chicken... I want money and to feel good.  2009, you better be with me of get fuck out of my way because whether I have 30 more years to live or 5.... i'm gonna have what I want.  

This may sound presumptuous and crass but I have everything else... my dog, my hubby, my friends, my Itunes and my truck.  I just can't fit into my clothes.  Is it so wrong to make this the year I get what I deserve.  Well unless I stop eating in the middle of the night and watching TV till the early morning i don't REALLY deserve a great bod but I'll add that to list in an addendum but to keep it easy i'll concentrate on those 2 main objectives.  

Don't spend and don't eat.

4 comments:

rolsuno said...

WORD UP!!!!!

Valerie said...

giggle...

don't forget about "some people.. with black hair. "

Anne said...

Hahaha... you're too funny! Now you've reminded me to post up my NYR for 2009. Something about writing it out for cyberspace (or the universe... haha "The Secret") to read solidifies our purpose and plan. Lol. Here's to a healthier, sexier 2009!

share-bare said...

You're beautiful no matter what, girl.

Who am I to talk though, right? I myself need to at least 20 lbs. I wonder if God can redistribute the fat from my pouch and love handles to my ass and breasts.