Thursday, September 18, 2008

Why you dirty RAT!!!

So yesterday I was so excited to tell Joh my accomplishement of not eating a midnight or 2am snack. I know this shouldn't be regarded as anything special but if you really knew me... and with only 2 "followers" i think you both do. NOT eating late night is a rare event for me. She told me " good! now just keep it up for the rest of the week and you'll be over it completely!" Sounds nice but knowing me... and I know me better than the 2 of you.... I am a dirty dirty night crawling rat!

This was a bad one....there were 3 left over IN and OUT double doubles in the fridge (drool). I'm up as usual watching all my episodes of Judge Alex, Judge Judy and Judge Mathis and Judge Joe Brown ( i'm gonna be a lawyer.........j/k) I just like'em. Of course my tummy knows it business time come 1-2am. So what do I do... pass up the strawberries, pass up the usual snack of colby or chedder cheese ( uh hello? I am a rat ), skip the sugar free jello pudding and go straight for the Double Double. I walk away from the fridge leaving the door wide open.... i leave the other 2 burgers on the island in the tray... run off to devour it in my rat hole. Of course the fridge alarm starts ringing from the door being left wide open waking my dad who I hear walking around the kitchen looking around like WTF? I peek my head out say oops sorry i'll put it all away, he looks at me like " it's 2:45 am?" well.... what the hell am I suppose to do with In and Out in the fridge? Eat cheese? I think the better answer would be... eat the strawberries?... drink water?. As I wipe monster sauce off my chin... I'm repulsed by myself and curse my lack of dicipline... I tell myself " Paris Hilton would soooo not be eating this right now, like this, She isn't a rat, she's slim because she knows how to resist.

Nothing could have kept me away from it, I've even gone so far as to tell myself " don't do it, the devil wants you to eat that "..... doesn't work, I should be sooo much bigger than I am but clearly have issues I must tackle before I start having babies or it won't be a pretty picture.

So that's why I didn't eat last night... because I deserve to be starved for a few days. OOOOH and to make it worse, that wasn't my first IN and OUT burger of the night. Ugh, glutton! Well tonight I had Taco Bell at 1am but they were Fresco Tacos... that's healthy right? I'd say it's better than 2 nights ago!

Someone please set some traps in the kitchen.... I'm the worse kind, a rat with posable thumbs and no guts to tell the Devil to "fuck off I'm gonna wait for breakfast". oooh I hope i don't get pregnant! It won't be a pretty site =(


joh702 said...

mmm hmmmm!!! j/k, as if i'm the most perfect dieter. puh-leez! well, now u know what u gotta do. stuff like that shouldn't be in the house, but i know it's harder when u share a fridge w/ other people.

share-bare said...

you have 3 followers now! ;)

you crack me up!!

Anne said...

it's a good thing i asked you to come to the gym the following day. haha! i hope you can transition easily into a gym rat to offset your 2am temptation feedings.

rolsuno said...

i hope those burgers didn't go to waste

Valerie said...

this was the funniest post I have ever read. I'm sitting here in the Abilene airport and I'm laughing to myself looking like a crazy person! I'm glad you remembered what you wanted to post about. This was too good not too share!!!!